say hi to Ari part 2

11.4. continued. with a different theme. i'm a little bit sorry for those rasistic rants. i don't really have anything against any group, as long they are peaceful. we don't need terrorists, not from left, not from right, not from religious fanatics. i stand for sexual equality and the human rights, also in the case of couples of the same sex. i'm not peaceful at heart, but i can mostly keep that under control. zen, zen, where did you disappear again? (meds work, i relax and am no more angry.)

the last post from last week i introduced Ari. but i think it was not really, cause i had no pictures. so i hope to make that good now. they are shaky because my hands are shaking a lot at the moment, so i make them smaller so it doesn't look that bad. i also took a video, and it all is coming to you now. :) NOTE: photos get bigger when clicking on them!

so, here's Ari. in this first pic there's still that sticker on it, but because i couldn't get it off without any liquid alcohol or stuff (that i do not own :P) i later just painted black over it.

the next is taken on my laptop. it's a good place. good background. this is the least shaken cause taken using both hands.

with my new mouse, on my exclusive Ikea-mousepad that also functions as memory table.

from the right side. most shaken cause my right hand shakes more than the left. O-o all these pictures were taken with my old Sony mobile phone, not edited, just made smaller. it's also visible that there's no magazine inside Ari. i just got it last Friday and have not really had time to get to know it very well. and i prefer to keep everything nice and safe in case my house is being searched for some reason. O-o

the last but not the least (i hope), the very shaky video. it's hard when both hands are shaking. it's really hard. i hope it really get's better soon. i feel bad that i have to admit that it IS the caffeine that causes it in most cases. sometimes low bloodsugar does it too, but i just ate something. :P (a few pieces of turkey salami and 1/4 portion of puree soup made of potatoe and that one long onion-like vegetable that i don't know the name in english (leech? leek?). and a little bit of the liquorice bought yesterday on a spring market.)

that's it for today. have fun everyone! comments welcome if you have any.

p.s. the song in the video is Chris Brown ft. Lil' Wayne & Swizz beats: I can transform ya. you can find it in Youtube for example. has a very nice video too.

new pics, random chitchat

19.2. ok here they come. finally, after noticing i just don't have the energy and right ideas to "decorate" these pics i'll post them without any artistic clutter. i still feel awful, kinda sad and tired, i don't feel anything really. not even pain. get hungry, eat, but with no appetite.

today i was in Leppävaara, library, spent about two and half hours in internet doing random stuff. should have looked for a game called Minecraft but forgot it, and then the library was closed. uploaded two videos in Youtube. the first two parts of 8 Bavarian Forest Xmas 2010 vids. you might be able to find them with that title, and those who know my new email address should find it easily. i haven't really been active there in a long time. maybe when i have my own internet at home. hope to get it soon, and WITHOUT extra 300 euro cost. that's TOTALLY UNFAIR. i pay my fucking bills in time, if my account is empty i always have some cash left, i never go totally broke and i'm ready to hunger if needed.

after library i went shopping. tomorrow i cook sausage soup. with a lot of veggies. it's delicious! maybe that will cheer me up a little. and i was || so close of buying something to read that i don't actually need right now. still haven't read the previous one to end. i'll force myself to finish it before getting a new number. :P the previous was bought in December, i don't know how often it comes in a year. it's the last magazine i bought.. O.o the others are all being paid by other people (A LOT OF THANKS TO ALL OF YOU, you know who you are). well, and this one also costs more than average.. :P it's been like this for years: when i find something interesting it's always one of the most expensive goods. close to the upper limit of what i can ever afford.

to the photos. they are a bit grainy cause even the paper lamp didn't give enough light. if you view them in "full size", and that's already reduced from the natural size. first is the second best:

second is the best of that row. my hands were shaking less than usually, but without enough light this is about the best result to get when not using tripod and remote control. O.o

as third i finally accepted this one. a close-up of the front parts. it was taken by leaning the cam against the lamp to keep it from shaking. point of view is not satisfying. a pillow is not, well, hard enough to be leaned against. it looks like it'd be taken without thinking, but indeed this was the best of 4 pics of the same position. i personally don't like this position much but i need this kind of photos.. i explain that further..

yeah, that's it. pics taken from the side are important and i'm trying to get a fitting one for the tattoo design. yes i want a P90-tattoo. :) i'm not sure 'bout the colors. maybe petrol green and black, or petrol blue and black, or just black with shades of grey. i've been thinking 'bout this for YEARS. trying to find a way to bring most of it to one picture, but in a way it's still light and not too dominating. i already have one tattoo on my right leg, and this one should come to the left leg. i'm not yet sure how. i've got a good idea but still no clue how to create that image. needs a lot of work with GIMP and i'm still not very familiar with it. and i don't know if it were better vertically or horizontally. impossible to say from where i'm looking at my leg. :P so i'd also need help from a tattoo artist. they have a better eye for such things.

also, i'd need a repairing tattoo for the old pic, cause it has THE WORST SIN and that should be hidden. :P i'd need something, well, flowing around my ankle. a sort of dark liquid were nice. it could have something like vertical waves surrounding the old pic.

ok i know most people in my family are quite against tattoos. they don't understand. and some, like mom, would go crazy if they knew i had a tattoo of a gun like Seed. she doesn't like that harmless comic figure either. :P well, at the moment nobody of my biologic family knows about Seed.. if dad comes here soon i might show it to him. u know, i'm not always in control of what i do.. O.o but i just DON'T WANT to move the box anywhere else than where it's now, and every-freakin-body who goes past my bed and looks to the lower part of my bookshelf sees it. it's laying there. and it's not even needed to look down there: the user manual is laying in the shelf in a very good visible place. ;) i like to have it in sight u know.

well i quit here for today. did not write a lot fiction either. my butt is hurting from too much sitting on this hard chair, and my back too. :P go to my room and read. could eat something before that. energy drink makes me hungry. :P

P.S. if you wonder what is the background for those photos of Seed it's a pillow with the bedding of Vallila, name is Kelohonka (that means "dead tree" :P) and i guess it's still available. colors black (tree), white and purple. it looks great.