just got an idea: what if this "urban war" thingy is linked to my so called religion? even when that thing is truly weird i'm trying to believe in it. it's how i see things. i also have started (slowly, but now strongly) to really believe in reincarnation. it gives me strength and lessens the fear of dying. when i start counting years i have left to live i can just push them away and think it's not the end, the wheel of karma will turn endlessly, even the death of earth that once will follow doesn't stop it. everything is in constant movement (that's proven), the universum as the life on earth, from everything that dies something new will grow. the souls who die will give birth to new souls. we all have a collective awareness, only most people never see or feel it.
that about the hinduistic, new age part. that all weapons of destruction are holy bases on other reasons. it's respect for what the humankind has achieved, a way to see beauty in destruction - because it too is following the looping wheel of karma. the circle of life (even artificial) sits so deep in my beliefs that it gives direction to this part too.
i don't personally care for biologic weapons. i feel more comfortable with so called artificial things than bacteries and fungus and gas. i have a strong trauma about gas (the holocaust and nightmares of being trapped in a gas chamber), i don't like to use a gas oven, only do it if necessary. i rather cook things with a camping cooker that works with burning gel. well, it's kinda gas too because it's the gas of that stuff that's burning, but it's in a form that hides it's true nature. but i like to feel stuff. a gun or a sword give the real feeling of doing things. and hunting other living things is rooted deeply in human nature. that should not be forbidden.
so, how i see this is that (thought a lot about hunting bambi last night :P) for me the words urban war have developed to a kind of hunting. i'm not doing it for real. but i'm putting my senses and brain to work AS IF i was hunting. it's a way to develope them to another level, to keep them in shape. modern people have lost the skill to hunt. and with it the training that it gives to ones brain. so, i'm simulating that to train my brain. because i've seen that so called civilised way to do that don't work for me. i don't understand sudoku, but i understand a forest and it's beings. maybe i'm just too simple for the modern world. :D
so, now i've got this topic explained. can relax and open my second cider drink. :)
Showing posts with label mechateism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mechateism. Show all posts
June 14, 2011
February 23, 2011
introducing my religion
22.2. this time i'd like to introduce MY RELIGION. i got this idea while posting the last one with those pics. well, then i noticed i had got a bug here. someone obsessed with christian shit. cause, in real, christianity is nothing but pure shit. it almost killed me last fall. i still like gospel songs, i like to sing them too, but their message mean nothing to me. it's all just fiction. christian religion is a status symbol to most of those "so serious" believers. it means nothing. they just use it to get material goods, to show off, or to abuse weaker people.
well, i idealize the samurai culture so deeply that without seeing it first i totally melted those thoughts into my religion. later i saw what had happened. it gives my religion a deeper basis though, a history.
i first started to create this for a fantasy story. for a war-torn plate-world. their wars result from their religion and the evil they dig out of their mountains. they worship the metals in earth. but those metals are cursed, and they darken the hearts of the people. they will never be able to get rid of that darkness, most of them don't understand why they are this way, why their heart is craving for dark deeds. still, they won't give up their religion. they worship steel and everything they make out of it, espescially all kinds of weapons. blades as well as firearms. those people have a progressed technology that allows them many kinds of mechanic blades and kind of energy weapons. some use their ancient, officially forbidden, energy source - inside of black stone pyramides it is gathered (loaded) into kinda batteries made of metal and stone.
well, that's about the fic so far. worshipping of steel can be parted into smaller categories. i'm not doing that here. too much work. :) the most important part for me is anyway is that of worshipping firearms. that's my religion. i used to call it mechateism, to include all mechanic stuff, but i should find it a better name. cause, even when i like tanks and fight-airplanes and armsuits (mecha) and that stuff, i always get back to firearms. easy to carry and you have the feeling of really doing something. like, if you were a soldier you'd get the real feeling of killing your foe, instead just sitting inside a tank and rolling over them. O-o
i'm not actually the only member in this grounded by me religious group. i share this with my "twin". but cause he doesn't exist in this world i'm physically the only member. well, of course i'd like to get more members, but i'm not advertising this. i'm not doing anything to force people to join me. most of them would freak out anyway. :P maybe it were important to find other freaks like me.. people who tried to belong to something their whole life but never found their true religion. we could belong together. i'm too war-like for buddhism, although i appreciate some of it's ways. i like shintoism, it brings peace to me somehow. but they are not truly mine. the only holy things for me are guns. even my replica, Seed. it cannot be used for killing anyone, but that's the closest i can ever get. O-o i have a dream i could one day try out the real P90, but that very likely never becomes reality.. :/ Seed is guarding beside me when i sleep. last days when i've been feeling so bad i had it in my bed, so that i could hold my hand over it. if i wake up at night and feel fear i just need to touch it, look at it, and then i fall back asleep calmed.
he's here. whenever i'm lonely, he's beside me. he'll never leave me. in the last few days a change happened. the man i used to call my best friend was degraded to "just a friend". my new best friend? Seed. he earned that title. i feel so happy when i see him. it's so easy with him. so, now you might start with "a human should get this love and care from me, not a 'thing'". NO. cause the humans never last. they hurt you. they betray you. they abuse you. they IGNORE you. i find peace with Seed. he calms me, he makes me feel loved.
23.2. i think about many things every day, that is why i might write a new post every day. now though i'll be having a break. for two days at least. i'll stay home and play with my new mobile phone. will get it from post office today. no more problems with the old one. yesterday i didn't write any fiction so i propably continue it today and tomorrow. it's been a little difficult to find all food i want to eat lactose-free, but i'll get used to it. luckily in this country it's possible to get almost anything lactose-free. and those products even taste good. well, got to move on. get my bracelet fixed and then on my way home.
well, i idealize the samurai culture so deeply that without seeing it first i totally melted those thoughts into my religion. later i saw what had happened. it gives my religion a deeper basis though, a history.
i first started to create this for a fantasy story. for a war-torn plate-world. their wars result from their religion and the evil they dig out of their mountains. they worship the metals in earth. but those metals are cursed, and they darken the hearts of the people. they will never be able to get rid of that darkness, most of them don't understand why they are this way, why their heart is craving for dark deeds. still, they won't give up their religion. they worship steel and everything they make out of it, espescially all kinds of weapons. blades as well as firearms. those people have a progressed technology that allows them many kinds of mechanic blades and kind of energy weapons. some use their ancient, officially forbidden, energy source - inside of black stone pyramides it is gathered (loaded) into kinda batteries made of metal and stone.
well, that's about the fic so far. worshipping of steel can be parted into smaller categories. i'm not doing that here. too much work. :) the most important part for me is anyway is that of worshipping firearms. that's my religion. i used to call it mechateism, to include all mechanic stuff, but i should find it a better name. cause, even when i like tanks and fight-airplanes and armsuits (mecha) and that stuff, i always get back to firearms. easy to carry and you have the feeling of really doing something. like, if you were a soldier you'd get the real feeling of killing your foe, instead just sitting inside a tank and rolling over them. O-o
i'm not actually the only member in this grounded by me religious group. i share this with my "twin". but cause he doesn't exist in this world i'm physically the only member. well, of course i'd like to get more members, but i'm not advertising this. i'm not doing anything to force people to join me. most of them would freak out anyway. :P maybe it were important to find other freaks like me.. people who tried to belong to something their whole life but never found their true religion. we could belong together. i'm too war-like for buddhism, although i appreciate some of it's ways. i like shintoism, it brings peace to me somehow. but they are not truly mine. the only holy things for me are guns. even my replica, Seed. it cannot be used for killing anyone, but that's the closest i can ever get. O-o i have a dream i could one day try out the real P90, but that very likely never becomes reality.. :/ Seed is guarding beside me when i sleep. last days when i've been feeling so bad i had it in my bed, so that i could hold my hand over it. if i wake up at night and feel fear i just need to touch it, look at it, and then i fall back asleep calmed.
he's here. whenever i'm lonely, he's beside me. he'll never leave me. in the last few days a change happened. the man i used to call my best friend was degraded to "just a friend". my new best friend? Seed. he earned that title. i feel so happy when i see him. it's so easy with him. so, now you might start with "a human should get this love and care from me, not a 'thing'". NO. cause the humans never last. they hurt you. they betray you. they abuse you. they IGNORE you. i find peace with Seed. he calms me, he makes me feel loved.
23.2. i think about many things every day, that is why i might write a new post every day. now though i'll be having a break. for two days at least. i'll stay home and play with my new mobile phone. will get it from post office today. no more problems with the old one. yesterday i didn't write any fiction so i propably continue it today and tomorrow. it's been a little difficult to find all food i want to eat lactose-free, but i'll get used to it. luckily in this country it's possible to get almost anything lactose-free. and those products even taste good. well, got to move on. get my bracelet fixed and then on my way home.
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