new try

cause this look mystic disappeared + the post i try again, and if it happens again it's censored. :P

screenshot is from IGN.com. my favorite picture. :) if this disappears again i will mod it in a way that makes it not so easy recognisable, but don't have the energy to do it now. will take some time and til that we stick with the old blue background if i can still find it somewhere.

i had started a post here, and continued it today but right now i think of deleting the whole shit. will propably do so too. i'm sick again, just like last weekend. nothing feels good, i don't feel safe here, my insides burn, my mind is breaking apart. hope the meds help, but like the weekend i don't wait much. i don't feel pain. so it's no help also. well, afterwards i feel it, like in my hand when writing, but it's already quite bad so i shouldn't do anything to it anymore. but i can't cut myself right now. going to see my parents in two weeks. no way i'm going there with red stripes.

at least i told them i'm not ok now. rare from me. have been mailing with mom quite a lot this week.

got a feeling there's this time really a voice in my head that's telling me to do things. it's never been that way before. i don't like it. nagging thing that won't leave me in peace. like, it's putting thoughts in my head ...

got interrupted by two neighbors. time to stop. this is getting insane. go watch some Crysis 2 or Black Ops videos.