3.7. I'm eating blueberries my mom picked for me this morning. Not those big ones grown on farms. These are from the forest behind their house. Taste much better. :) There are also a few forest strawberries. Good and sweet. Here on the big yard there are some growing too. Planted extra so people living here can eat them. Til now I've seen nobody else eat them than me.
My cat Maru is now here. Today my dad brought a net for the balcony door so he doesn't fall down. He's sitting before it most of the time. Every time someone walks by the sand path close to the house he must go and look. All the new noises and smells. Before when he noticed here was a fly he chased it with light speed and meowed a lot. Didn't catch it. But he really tried. So much sport, and I don't need to do anything. xD He has also started eating better. First day, on Friday, he only ate sausage casings, and yesterday mostly pieces of sausages I gave him. Today already some wet food with his medicine, and now in the evening he ate again most of the wet food and it looked like he had eaten the medicine again. Well, it should be tasty for most cats and dogs. I let that food stand there overnight if he eats it sometime at night. Tomorrow he gets more of his special food. I got 4 bags of it, 8 kg alltogether. He also has learned to drink water, so his body doesn't dry like when he'd only eat the dry food. I try to teach him a certain feeding routine. He also uses his toilet regularly, about once a day. My whole bathroom stinks of cat shit, but it doesn't matter. I've gotten used to it and his food smell already. "Been there, done that." :D
I have somehow panicked each day now since he's here. Have to get used to him and it'll take some time. First day I felt awful and thought I can never take care of a living thing. It's too difficult. But then I remembered he's just a cat. I know a lot about cats. This one is a little challenge because his sickness (overly moving joints in hind legs), he has to eat his medicine twice every day, has to eat this special food a lot and if it gets worse I need lots of money for vet bills. But I'm really ready for this, I think now. I still panic easily, but other moments I just want to give him a loving home where he can spend his "last years" (this was the reason why I didn't need to pay the normal fee of 50 euro).. I think he'll live AT LEAST ten more years. He's jumping a lot and doesn't seem to have pains. I just have to learn a way to lift him up. I maybe hurt him once while he tried to climb on me and I took him up like a little child and didn't get good hold of his legs. Next time I try it different way.
Right now he's laying beside me on a place I made for him from some towels. As close to a human as possible. These blueberries taste really good. :) I also try to teach Maru not to play with peoples hands. He scratches, even I got a small wound, the first time he did it to me. Now I make a noise he doesn't like everytime he tries to do that, and say "no" in finnish or german. Seems to not work well til now. 30 seconds and he has forgotten what was wrong. O-O Maybe he eventually learns it.
He seems to like some salty and spicy food. He licked my plate after I ate the rest of my steak from yesterday. But I don't want to give him much of that. It's too spicy and could make harm to him. There's cat food and it's also a little bit salty (I tasted some). I also mixed some of the dry food with the wet food to make him more interested in it. Tonight he maybe gets little bit of the dry food cause he likes to eat at night. I get awake every time he starts to crunch. Last night he gave us only little peace. Always jumping on bed and meowing. Now all the guests are gone so maybe he's calmer.
Oh well, drinking from the sink. Dirty water can be so tasty. At least I don't let him drink from the toilet. I washed it yesterday but today it's dirty again. I don't want him to catch any bacteria.
Sorry that this is all about Maru. For the beginning he's the middle of my life. Until we get used to each other and find a suitable rhytm of living. I try to not feed him too much, that means only one bag wet food a day, or half bag wet food and second half dry food. He just needs to eat two pills each day. He didn't seem to like seafood. And I bought a package of 12 bags of seafood. I try to feed it sometime in between all the chicken-mixtures and meat and if it doesn't work I'll give them to mom cause her cat loves fish and shrimps.
It was so hot today it's nice to feel the cool evening breeze. Although it's slowly getting too cold. Think I stay awake a little longer today. At the airport I felt awfully sad. Even when my ex is sometimes a pain in the ass I did live long together with him and sometimes it's still fun when we visit each other. I really had to try hard to look happy. :/ I won't see him until August, and then again a break til January next year. Heh, looks like Maru didn't like the music of Yanni and went to sleeping corner. Good chance to take the net from the window and water my summer plants.
He was very brave, only interested of my flowers. Now he seems to be eating the rest of his meal. Good boy. :) And I quit this now and go do something else. Have a new wallpaper: Fallout New Vegas artwork from IGN.com. They have mostly screenshots but some awesome artwork too. This one has ruined old cars, ruined houses and a motel sign, desert and behind some mountains. Nice evening sky, not such green mist like in Fallout 3. That greeny stuff was part of the games unique athmosphere and one thing why I like it so much. There are mods that change that and also bring in growing trees and grasses. And what not.
Yesterday I wrote some to my "new paper diary". I don't write there often, only when I feel like it. This time I wrote about how nice Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 is made, cause I watched a couple of those videos. I like it, how much ever some people say it's just a narrow tunnel or experience train that doesn't leave place for making own decisions. Well, it IS very fast forward, but I have to say I'm not yet quite far. And I'm not sure if I'd buy it (well, I should be saving money for a new computer and instead it's flowing into catsand and house cleaning equipment) even when I could play something (see the previous note). MY reflexes are not very good right now. They are better than a year ago, but I'm still far from what I once used to be. Damn. BUT. I like that game. It has nice guns. And there was my writings point: I call them nice, or even beautiful sometimes (like that one SMG), and then I think what would my parents say. xD Somehow I now often get the need to shake their intolerant pants.. They do so as if they were the most pacific people on earth. (I've complained about this before.) Especially mom thinks all games are bad for psyche and make people go crazy and cause bad dreams. (O-o) She'd flip out if she saw me watching videos about "killing/war games". Or even play them by myself. Heh. So, what would she do if she found out I have two "horrible bad personifications of violence" at home? xD xD xD
I just have this kind of attitude towards my parents. Have developed it cause there are so many things in my life they don't accept or understand. So I'm not telling them more than is needed. I laugh at their very narrow world view. Mom is intentionally shutting her eyes and ears from all the evil in the world. And dad drinks to drown his worries and fear. So, I have let go of them already. Eventually they will die. Eventually I won't have parents anymore. I have to live with it. It's part of life. So I'm not making it even more difficult for myself than it already is. I have my life, they have theirs.
And I'd so like to shock them - even once! xD
Somehow I've had this need to shock people for some time now.. Don't know where it comes from. Cause I had to suppress my real self and real feelings for so long?
And, when I told mom at midsummer one day that I had really violent dreams she immediately thought I have watched some videos of butchering people or "these horrible game videos" etc. Oh god. I never get nightmares of games. These ones were caused by extreme stress and cause I had to spend three and half days with intolerant stoneage people. Just anyone would get eager to kill..
Tired of thinking all this crap.
Quit now and post this some time later.